Since I enjoy writing, I use it to express my impressions when I am either very much in awe of something or very much disgusted by something -- and sometimes for a combination of the two. Often, I write a poem, albeit not a wonderfully literary poem, to more succinctly verbalize my thoughts.
Here is a poem I wrote about the zoo last summer. I am reminded of it every time I return to the zoo.
Lessons learned from the zoo
Big cats can urinate up to six feet BEHIND them.
A rhino's head alone weights 1,000 pounds!
The correct pronunciation is o-KAH-pee.
Burmese pythons do not belong in Florida.
A giraffe's tongue is almost two feet long.
Sea lions have ear flaps, seals do not.
Zebras are actually white with brown stripes.
Fruit bats are freakishly beautiful to watch.
Ostriches will not walk on large rounded rocks.
A polar bear's skin is black and its fur is clear.
Peacocks do not like being chased by ignoramuses.
Other lessons learned:
Americans, as a whole, are grossly overweight.
Children, too often, are spoiled and naughty.
Tattoos do not look good on anyone anywhere.
Too many people are lacking common manners.
A child on a leash isn't really under control, now is he?
If the sign says "Birds bite," it doesn't mean:
"Birds bite other people, but not you -- you're special."
I wonder which species really belongs in the zoo,
Caged for the other to mock, pity, observe and ponder.
The "civilized" ones are on the wrong side of the enclosure
Surrounded by bars, fence, glass wall, water barrier or ditch.
They watch us, as we watch them, and are happy not to be human.
Take offense at my poem if you like -- that only means you are one of the types I mock. The main things I've come to notice about the people at the zoo is that they seem to be there primarily to share the experience with their children. I use the word "seem" on purpose. They seem to want to teach their children about the animals and to share the wonder of seeing a meerkat or a shark up close while still keeping themselves and the animals safe from harm; however, they spend the vast majority of their time rushing through the zoo in order to see everything, and this causes them to NOT really see anything at all.
In addition, their children get tired and cranky, so then the parents end up yelling at their children and yanking on their leashes to pull them back to their sides. Sorry, I can't get over the fact that parents put their children on leashes. I managed to raise two children without every having to tie them up at any time. And, seriously, if a parent has a child who is so wild that she fears that he will run off and jump a fence to join his brethren monkeys, then perhaps she should wait until he is older to bring him to the zoo.
Here are my tips for those going to the zoo:
1. Take your time and really look at the animals. Read the information cards and don't make asinine assumptions about them out loud because you just look like an idiot to those of us around you who actually have read the cards.
2. If your kid is a brat, do everybody else at the zoo a favor and DON'T GO!
3. For the love of God, wear something decent. Others have come to see the animals, not your saggy and exposed cleavage or the belly hanging out from under the t-shirt that maybe fit you in fourth grade.
4. Act like people. Try, please try to be more civilized than the creatures you've come to gawk at.
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