She's essentially cancer-free, and another reason I didn't do any writing here is because I decided to focus my attention on sending her words of wisdom, inspiration and comfort as she fought her battle against the evil fiend we call cancer. I wasn’t about to let her give up or ever feel like she was alone in the fight. I turned to words of wisdom and inspiration from famous people throughout history, and I sent her a daily letter with a saying on one side and my take on it in relation to her battle on the other side. I totally believe in the power of words, so I sought out the most pertinent and powerful sentences from philosophers, religious leaders, authors, musicians, politicians and many more types of people. In all, my friend said I sent her ninety-one of these letters. She told me this when she told me she was cancer-free, and she told me I could take a break from sending her those letters. They were probably the most important things I’ve ever written to-date, and I’d like to think they played a small part in her recovery. She still has a ways to go before she's back to how she was before cancer invaded her life, but she's getting there, and I'm so thankful for that.
If only I could say the same for another great person I know, though. Her husband has lost his battle with the same kind of cancer as Amy had. I've watched how his suffering has worn away at her, and I'm so angry about this. I also feel a little responsible because I turned the focus of my attention and energy on my one friend and not enough of it went to my other friend and her husband. Why didn't I send him inspirational messages every day as well? I don't really know, and the reasons I can think of sound more like excuses. Now, however, I am determined to help his wife, my dear friend, recover and find the strength she needs to move forward.
Another friend lost her first and only grandchild mere days before he was due to be born. Who can explain such a thing? A totally healthy baby simply dies suddenly while still safely ensconced in his mother's womb because something goes wrong. This happened years ago to my cousin, too, and she still grieves for her little boy. I'm sure my friend and her daughter will forever grieve the loss of their precious grandson and son. It's wrong on so many levels, too, that a perfectly healthy baby -- who could actually survive outside of the womb at that point -- just suddenly dies, and the parents and grandparents are left to suffer the sorrow of his loss forever. There is no explaining it, and there is no getting over it.
The biggest tragedy to hit home with me in the last few months of 2017 was the loss of a former student. I've taught for over a quarter of a century now, so I've lost my share of students, unfortunately, but they've been to things like car accidents, cancer and even suicide. This one was to murder, or so it seems, and it's definitely the first murder of a former student I've ever had to deal with, and I hope I never have to go through anything like it again. It's the mystery and the tragedy surrounding her death, though, that have been the hardest to deal with, and since I work with her parents and I taught her siblings as well, it's been so hard to know how to behave and what to say when I see them. There is no getting around the fact that her death was especially tragic. It has hit the entire community very hard, and I imagine we will be reeling from it for a long time to come. Even when (or if) the true details of her death actually come out, they won't change the fact that she is gone and that she was taken from her family in a horribly tragic way.
I know I'm not alone in thinking that 2017 was an especially sad year because I've seen many comments on social media saying things to that effect. Personally, though, it was a year of a few really great things in my life -- my daughter graduated high school at the top of her class and started college where she has excelled, my son got his first teaching job at a great school where he also landed a head coaching position that he's handling really well, my kids and I along with my boyfriend went on a wonderful vacation to Washington D.C. and New York City this past summer, my best friend and her daughter were able to spend a few months with us, I've managed to write a lot more on some of the longer pieces I'm working on, and I got a new car. (Here is a photo of me with my new car because sometimes we have to celebrate the little good things in life so that the big bad things don't destroy us.)
On the flip side, though, I've had to watch a lot of people I care about go through some really horrible things, and I am praying that 2018 will be kinder to everybody out there. So, as the last few days of 2017 go by, please join me in telling 2017 to Shtick This! and also join me in reaching out to anyone negatively impacted by something sorrowful in 2017 to give them a much-needed hug and a few words of encouragement that 2018 will be better.
