Sunday, April 21, 2013

I Hate Trashy People!

I spend my days with teenagers, and most of the time they are a self-centered obnoxious bunch, but every now and then, they remind me why I continue to expend my time and energy on them -- they are also full of energy, surprises and actually quite generous of their time and the need to work to make a difference in our world.

As part of my job, I am the adviser for our local National Honor Society chapter. Yesterday, four of my NHS students and I spent two hours removing trash from the ditches of a road that leads into our town and where I often walk my dog. For some time now, I've been utterly appalled at the amount of trash littering the ditches and ruining what should be a lovely walk in the countryside. Since NHS students have to do community service work as part of their commitment to organization, I suggested that a few of them remove this trash in honor of Earth Day. They willingly complied, and they willingly gave up a few hours of their Saturday afternoons to walk the ditches with me on a chilly and windy April day.

While I knew that the ditches along this two mile stretch of road were laden with trash, I was still astounded at the end of our clean-up to find that we had acquired almost two full pickup beds' worth of trash! Along the way we removed numerous beer bottles and cans and discarded plastic gas station soda cups, as to be expected I suppose; however, surprisingly we also found a phone charger, a used diaper, a metal fork, a tire, a running board, various pieces of siding, and even an entire vacuum cleaner!

What the hell is wrong with people?  When has our collective laziness reached the bounds where we can't even place our empty cans in our cup holders in our cars and then throw it away when we get home? Personally, I don't understand this, and I never will. We are a society of consumers, and we have a trash system designed to manage the gross amount of stuff we throw out as it is without there being any need to toss crap out the window as we drive.

"Trashy" people disgust me -- and by that word I mean the ones who throw their shit along the roadways for everybody else to "enjoy" as we drive along or stroll along a road. I don't know what goes through their minds as they casually throw their bags of fast food containers out the window while cruising along at 65 miles per hours. What do they think happens with that stuff? It sits there and ruins the area for others -- both human and animal -- until considerate people come along and pick it up

Trash receptacles exist all over this world and for a reason, so use them. Keep a trash bag in your car if you don't like having trash sitting around in your car until such a time when you can clean it out. If nothing else, realize that other people use that road and want to enjoy the view of nature and not of your crappy trash, and realize that animals survive out there and can survive longer and better without your crap ruining their habitats.

Sadly, only one day later I took a walk with my dog along the road I'd helped clean up yesterday and already there are two new pieces of trash lying around. Trashy people need to stick their own crap into their own trash cans! That's where I'd like to see them actually stick it; otherwise, they can truly "Shtick This!"


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Winter, Shtick This!







Dear Winter,

Go away! If that isn't clear enough, then let me add these -- Scram! Skedaddle! Shoo! Amscray! Leave! And get your white filth off of my lawn!

While you might be a welcome sight at Christmastime and even in mid-November when you haven't been around for awhile, here, in mid-April, you are no longer wanted. So, stop playing the bully and quit pushing Spring around. It's her time to shine.

I want to feel her lovely breath upon my cheeks as I walk my dog. I don't want your frigid gusts keeping me indoors any longer. I want to hear the birds chirping again like they were only days ago before you felt the need to rush back in for an encore -- nobody's clapping, Buster, so get off the stage.

The flowers are waiting to burst up from the ground, but they can't do that with an inch of solid ice preventing their progress. The leaves are about to spring forth from their branches, but you just might have killed some of them off in their infancy -- I hope you're happy, you homicidal maniac!

Seriously dude, nobody wants you here anymore. You've had your say for over six months, so if you haven't made your point by now, you're never going to -- so shut up! You can blow as hard as you want around my window frames and you can whistle through my gutters, I'm done listening to you. Blah, blah, blah is all I hear from you. Pack up your stuff and get off my property.

There are many people over the course of a day or a week or a month that I want to say "Shtick This!" to, but right now, Winter, you are numero uno on my shit list. Go away and don't let a tornado kick you in the ass as you go -- this is the Midwest after all.

You're like a spoiled little drama queen who has to have all the attention and just needs to step in and take all the fun away from anybody else who seems to be getting the love from others. Well, here's the hard truth from one Winter-hater -- Summer is the true queen while Spring and Autumn are the lovely princesses, and you're just the ugly step-sister. So, get over yourself and get out of my life!

Sincerely,

Your biggest hater.