Yet, there are those in our midst who have not been kind about our relationship. Why? Because when we met he was just beginning his divorce journey, a journey that I had completed long before we met, so apparently that gives these people the right in their minds to judge us and condemn our relationship.
I repeat -- he was beginning his divorce journey. This means that he was separated from his "wife," that he had long ago stopped loving her, that he was moving on with his life, and that he desperately desired to be happy. I could definitely relate. The day my ex moved out was the happiest day of my life.
What people who want to judge others don't seem to understand is that they aren't living those other people's lives, so they don't truly know what it's like to walk in their shoes, and until the day when they can know that (which is NEVER, by the way), then they do not have any right at all to judge those people and their ways of living.
Misery. That's what my life was while I was married to a horrible person. Outwardly, people wouldn't have known this; not completely at least. The day he left is the day I really started to live, and that is the same for my boyfriend. The day he left his ex, he finally started to live his life.
Yet, people still torment him, and through him, me. Why? I don't really know. I could speculate that their own lives aren't meaningful enough for them, so they have to look for ways to destroy others to try to build themselves up, but that would just be me speculating, now wouldn't it? Frankly, I don't care. I chose to leave selfishness, pettiness, meanness, jealousy, contempt, etc. behind me when I finally took the path toward being divorced, and I don't plan to go back.
I do, however, hate to see him sad due to those aspects coming from people on his side, so when he's sad, I'm sad . . . uh, no, actually, I'm pretty damn pissed that these certain "haters" just won't let things go.
However, I'm very happy with him, and he's very happy with me. I'm not the reason for his divorce in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't have given him the time of day if I'd even suspected that he wasn't over his ex and ready to get divorced. His story was too much like my own, so we had that connection at first that drew us together. We also share a love of riding motorcycles, which has strengthened that connection. I love his personality, his generosity, and his character.
The anxiety we both felt with our exes doesn't exist when we are together. We actually smile and laugh A LOT together, and that's something we had stopped doing years ago with the exes. The giant knot that I carried around for over ten years at the base of my neck while I was married has completely disappeared, and most of his stomach problems have been miraculously cured! Hmmm, coincidence? I think not.
I wish I could make these judgmental haters understand that they need to concentrate on themselves and their own problems, and leave us alone. The sooner they fix whatever is wrong in their own lives, the sooner they will be happy. It took both of us years and years to accept the fact that divorce was the only solution for our ails, so I imagine it will take a long time for our haters to solve whatever ails them as well, but I still wish they'd hurry up. The sooner they leave us alone, the better.
Here are photos of us from this past year. You will see that some involve us doing Legion Rider things or other motorcycle events together, but we also have had fun traveling around a bit, and we'll be adding many more trips together in the future because that is another realm that time with me has added to his life, and he is loving it. And I'm so glad to have a travel companion besides my daughter who will soon be graduating and leaving me behind. He and I are making plans!
So, for all our haters out there, we have just one final thing to say to you . . . .
