Hello again! Grammar 101 last week went over so well that I thought I'd send out a second lesson for anyone who'd like to self-educate during this self-quarantine time of craziness.
If you didn't read the first one, I covered misuse of "don't," "could of," "seen," "there," "their," "they're," and a few other things.
In today's lesson, Grammar 102, we're going to begin with GOOD and WELL. Ahhh, I can hear the groans from here. (I hope you noticed my correct use of the homophones "hear" and "here.") Now, I know that almost everyone misuses these two words on a daily basis, but that does NOT make it acceptable for you to continue to misuse them.
In fact, I'm going to go off on a slight tangent here, but it's one that I often use in my grammar class at school to make a point. Think about watching a sporting event, especially a sport that you love and know the rules for it really well. So, you're watching this game either from the sidelines or from your comfy couch at home, and suddenly one of the players does something wrong, but the referee doesn't see it. You, however, see it. How do you react? Do you get pissed that the refs let something slide, or do you just shrug it off because it's one of those fouls that seem to be far too prevalent nowadays? I suspect that if you are a true fan of the sport you get mad, and you probably even yell at the ref. You say something like, "How could you have missed that?!" or "Are you blind?!" or even "Where'd you learn to referee? You don't know your head from your ass!"
Now, think how you feel when you witness an uncalled foul in your favorite sport. Channel that feeling. . . . That's how I feel every time I witness a grammar gaffe made by people who should know their heads from their asses! If you can learn the rules of a sport so well that you are an armchair referee, then you can also learn the rules of the language you use every single day. If you can't, or if you refuse out of sheer laziness, then don't be shocked to find yourself at the end of a verbal tirade by someone like me calling FOUL at your misuse of basic English grammar.
So, let's get back to GOOD and WELL. Here's the simplistic explanation: GOOD is an adjective, and WELL is an adverb. Yes, there are exceptions, and they both do have other uses, and blah, blah, blah; however, they are misused because people confuse them concerning whether they need an adjective or adverb in their sentences. Of course, when I get that simplistic, I often get blank looks, especially concerning that word ADVERB.
Let's go simple about adverbs, too. After all, my main point of this post is to get people to stop making the common mistakes with these two words. There are all kinds of in-depth grammar books, articles, posts, etc. for anyone who really wants to go in-depth with the words GOOD and WELL. Simplistically speaking, an adverb tells HOW you do something, especially concerning the word WELL. It modifies (kind of describes) the verb (the action).
Examples: We played well yesterday. (not "good" -- well) They danced really well on stage. (How'd they dance? Well.) He shot really well from beyond the three-point line. You behaved well in class today. I know him well. (Again, how do I know him? Well.) Some people say I write well. The student did well on her test. (How did she do? Well.)
If you're explaining HOW you did or do something (the action or verb), use WELL.
If you're describing something or someone (a noun or a pronoun), then you need an adjective, so you might want to use GOOD to describe that thing or person.
Examples: Today is a good day. (day = noun) How is the cake? It is good! (it = pronoun) You are such a good dog. Who's a good dog? You're a good dog! That's a good book; you should read it.
If you are telling what something or someone is like, and the best word you can come up with at the time is GOOD, that's all right because GOOD is an adjective, and it's an adjective's job to describe a noun or a pronoun. So, you'll be doing a good job and using good grammar if you use good to describe something.
I've taken enough of your time today, but I do want to share one more mistake that I see people making a lot. It's that very thing -- a lot. A LOT. Two separate words. A . . . space . . . LOT. It's not one word. It's not alot. That's not a word. The word "allot" exists, but it has a totally different meaning."I hope to have a lot of readers." "Wow, there are a lot of words misspelled in that book." "3,000 pieces in that puzzle?! That's a lot of pieces."
Thanks for reading. You've been a GOOD student. I hope you learned A LOT. If you continue to study WELL, don't be surprised to find yourself becoming a sideline grammar referee like I am. We're an unappreciated, but important, part of the most interesting sport out there -- proper communication!
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Friday, March 20, 2020
Shtick This! Tam's Grammar 101
I write this as I, like so many others out there, am essentially stuck (or should I say shtuck -- ha ha) in my house avoiding contact with others as this nasty COVID-19 virus makes its way across the world. I should be at school teaching. One of the things I should be teaching is grammar. Yes, I'm one of that elusive breed of people who actually love grammar because I love language and hate to see it abused when it's avoidable. Most grammar gaffes are easily corrected if you're aware of the mistakes you're making and actually care enough to stop making them.
Ah, that is the quandary, now isn't it? One has to care before one will make the necessary changes to better oneself no matter the task at hand. So, if you don't care about whether you come across as the intelligent person I'm going to assume you are (after all, you're reading this, so I already have high hopes for you), then you won't care enough to do the work to stop making the following blunders (if you make them at all), and you will continue to abet the ignorant masses. If that is the case, please stop reading now and go about your business. I'm done wasting my time on you. You clearly don't care.
However, if you'd care to help me perpetuate the use of our language as it should be used and better your verbal and written skills a bit, then read ahead.
1. The misuse of "seen" (I'll get to that soon) used to be my number one grammar pet peeve. It has been replaced by two others, and it's a toss up as to which one I hate more, so I'll flip a coin. One moment. . . . . . . . . . All right, here we go. The winner is: Stop using COULD OF!!
The correct usage is COULD HAVE as in "I could have gone to work today if it weren't for this damn virus that is ruining things for everyone." People make this mistake because the combination "could've" sounds a lot like "could of" when you say it, but just because it sounds like it doesn't make it correct. The same applies to SHOULD HAVE, WOULD HAVE, MUST HAVE, OUGHT TO HAVE, etc. "I could've been a contender" not "I could of been a contender."
2. The loser of the coin toss from above was "it don't, she don't, he don't." I wrote an entire blog post about this in December of 2015. Clearly, the country music industry did not pay attention to it and neither did many other people, so I'll repeat the key information here for you.
Do you say HE DO LIVE THERE? Of course you don't! You say HE DOES LIVE THERE. Thus, if it happens to be the case that he, in fact, does not live there, you could say HE DOES NOT LIVE THERE, or you could form the contraction of DOES with NOT and create DOESN'T. The words DOES and NOT do not contract to form DON'T. THEY DON'T DO THAT!!! For all the naysayers out there who like to pooh pooh things and say "It don't matter," it does very much matter! If you must be a pooh-pooher of anything, at least have the decency to correctly say "It doesn't matter."
3. If you have an excessive amount of something, then the word to use is TOO and not TO. For example, I, and many of you out there, currently have TOO much free time on my hands. It's never "to much" of anything; it's ALWAYS "too much" of it. This applies to being TOO TIRED to work, TOO FAT to fit into your high school jeans, TOO APATHETIC to care about using correct grammar, TOO SHORT to go on the rides at Disneyland whenever it opens again, etc. Get the picture?
TO is only used in front of verbs and to indicate movement. I need TO BUY more food. I'll go TO the store. Allow me TO EXPLAIN these things TO you.
4. If you can't find your keys, you could say that you often LOSE them; however, you never ever LOOSE them. Loose = not tight, as in "I only wish my jeans were LOOSE on me." Lose = misplace or unable to win a game, or even in expressions like "I'm going to LOSE my mind soon."
And, for the love of all that is still good in the world, if you absolutely must call someone a LOSER on social media, then have the decency to spell the word correctly. That person is a LOSER, not a LOOSER. If you call someone a LOOSER, the only LOSER is you.
5. Here's one I've noticed a lot recently. Let me give you the example first, and you see if you notice the mistake. "Do to the corona virus, schools are being closed for the next few weeks." I'm hoping and praying that the error jumped out at you right away. Did it?
It's not DO TO! It's DUE TO! "Due to social media, many people are becoming more and more inept with their words, or maybe social media is simply a platform for them to show off their ineptness."
6. Now let's address the word SEEN. I believe that most people actually know how to use this word correctly but choose not to do so. Simple past tense of TO SEE is SAW. "I saw that." It's never "I seen that." Never, never, never, never, never, infinity. "I have seen that." "I had seen that." "I will have seen that." "He has seen that." "You must have seen that." "As seen in theaters, . . . " "The UFO was seen by two witnesses." There are many times when SEEN is correct, but simple past tense is NOT one of them. If you witnessed something interesting in the past, you SAW it.
7. THERE is "over there," the opposite of HERE, or it is used in the common expressions of THERE IS or THERE ARE. As Woody says, "There's a snake in my boot." As I say, "There are far too many people who use incorrect or sloppy grammar."
THEIR refers to something that belongs to THEM. "That's THEIR house." Whose house is it? THEIR house.
THEY'RE = THEY ARE. Period. End of story. They are my friends can become THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. It doesn't become THERE MY FRIENDS, or THEIR MY FRIENDS. They might not remain your friends if can't correctly claim them. THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. THEY ARE = THEY'RE. That's it.
If you stayed with me this long, congratulate yourself. If you learned anything, congratulate me. If you'd like to read any more grammar rants from me, let me know.
Ah, that is the quandary, now isn't it? One has to care before one will make the necessary changes to better oneself no matter the task at hand. So, if you don't care about whether you come across as the intelligent person I'm going to assume you are (after all, you're reading this, so I already have high hopes for you), then you won't care enough to do the work to stop making the following blunders (if you make them at all), and you will continue to abet the ignorant masses. If that is the case, please stop reading now and go about your business. I'm done wasting my time on you. You clearly don't care.
However, if you'd care to help me perpetuate the use of our language as it should be used and better your verbal and written skills a bit, then read ahead.
1. The misuse of "seen" (I'll get to that soon) used to be my number one grammar pet peeve. It has been replaced by two others, and it's a toss up as to which one I hate more, so I'll flip a coin. One moment. . . . . . . . . . All right, here we go. The winner is: Stop using COULD OF!!
The correct usage is COULD HAVE as in "I could have gone to work today if it weren't for this damn virus that is ruining things for everyone." People make this mistake because the combination "could've" sounds a lot like "could of" when you say it, but just because it sounds like it doesn't make it correct. The same applies to SHOULD HAVE, WOULD HAVE, MUST HAVE, OUGHT TO HAVE, etc. "I could've been a contender" not "I could of been a contender."
2. The loser of the coin toss from above was "it don't, she don't, he don't." I wrote an entire blog post about this in December of 2015. Clearly, the country music industry did not pay attention to it and neither did many other people, so I'll repeat the key information here for you.
Do you say HE DO LIVE THERE? Of course you don't! You say HE DOES LIVE THERE. Thus, if it happens to be the case that he, in fact, does not live there, you could say HE DOES NOT LIVE THERE, or you could form the contraction of DOES with NOT and create DOESN'T. The words DOES and NOT do not contract to form DON'T. THEY DON'T DO THAT!!! For all the naysayers out there who like to pooh pooh things and say "It don't matter," it does very much matter! If you must be a pooh-pooher of anything, at least have the decency to correctly say "It doesn't matter."
3. If you have an excessive amount of something, then the word to use is TOO and not TO. For example, I, and many of you out there, currently have TOO much free time on my hands. It's never "to much" of anything; it's ALWAYS "too much" of it. This applies to being TOO TIRED to work, TOO FAT to fit into your high school jeans, TOO APATHETIC to care about using correct grammar, TOO SHORT to go on the rides at Disneyland whenever it opens again, etc. Get the picture?
TO is only used in front of verbs and to indicate movement. I need TO BUY more food. I'll go TO the store. Allow me TO EXPLAIN these things TO you.
4. If you can't find your keys, you could say that you often LOSE them; however, you never ever LOOSE them. Loose = not tight, as in "I only wish my jeans were LOOSE on me." Lose = misplace or unable to win a game, or even in expressions like "I'm going to LOSE my mind soon."
And, for the love of all that is still good in the world, if you absolutely must call someone a LOSER on social media, then have the decency to spell the word correctly. That person is a LOSER, not a LOOSER. If you call someone a LOOSER, the only LOSER is you.
5. Here's one I've noticed a lot recently. Let me give you the example first, and you see if you notice the mistake. "Do to the corona virus, schools are being closed for the next few weeks." I'm hoping and praying that the error jumped out at you right away. Did it?
It's not DO TO! It's DUE TO! "Due to social media, many people are becoming more and more inept with their words, or maybe social media is simply a platform for them to show off their ineptness."
6. Now let's address the word SEEN. I believe that most people actually know how to use this word correctly but choose not to do so. Simple past tense of TO SEE is SAW. "I saw that." It's never "I seen that." Never, never, never, never, never, infinity. "I have seen that." "I had seen that." "I will have seen that." "He has seen that." "You must have seen that." "As seen in theaters, . . . " "The UFO was seen by two witnesses." There are many times when SEEN is correct, but simple past tense is NOT one of them. If you witnessed something interesting in the past, you SAW it.
7. THERE is "over there," the opposite of HERE, or it is used in the common expressions of THERE IS or THERE ARE. As Woody says, "There's a snake in my boot." As I say, "There are far too many people who use incorrect or sloppy grammar."
THEIR refers to something that belongs to THEM. "That's THEIR house." Whose house is it? THEIR house.
THEY'RE = THEY ARE. Period. End of story. They are my friends can become THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. It doesn't become THERE MY FRIENDS, or THEIR MY FRIENDS. They might not remain your friends if can't correctly claim them. THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. THEY ARE = THEY'RE. That's it.
If you stayed with me this long, congratulate yourself. If you learned anything, congratulate me. If you'd like to read any more grammar rants from me, let me know.
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