If you haven't noticed by not only the name of my blog but also by the content of many of my posts, I like to bitch and moan about things that I really cannot control -- things that get under my skin because they are ridiculous, asinine, ludicrous or simply annoying to me for whatever reason big or small. Students annoy me, I admit it, and the older I get, the more they annoy me -- it's an age gap thing I understand that, but there is more to it than that.
I realized the other day that my complaints to my students sometimes are misconstrued. One young man said to me, "If you hate teaching so much, why do you do it?" To be honest, I was quite annoyed at his question because I don't hate teaching, and that is when I realized that to teenagers who don't see the bigger picture it may very well come across as me sounding like I don't like teaching and that I don't like my students -- and both of those things are not true.
I found myself launching into a tirade to clarify the situation for him, and I realized that this blog would perhaps be a better place to make it clear what it is that actually annoys the hell out of me about teaching teenagers. Again, to be very clear -- I LOVE teaching when the students actually want to learn what I have the knowledge and expertise to share with them, and I LOVE my students even on the days that I want to walk away and never look back. Each kid is unique and special, and I believe, I firmly believe, that they all want to learn, but they too often let their attitudes interfere with their learning and definitely with my teaching.
It isn't teaching or the kids, per se, that drive me crazy -- it these three statements that I simply cannot tolerate anymore: 1. "Whatever!" 2. "It's good enough." and 3. "I don't care."
Let's examine that damnable word Whatever usually said with unnecessary emphasis on the second syllable and a noticeable touch of sass thrown in for good measure. Basically, it is a kid's way of saying "Shut up, old woman. I don't need to listen to you. I'm young, and I know everything, so you can just keep talking and lecturing and moralizing, but I'm going to go right on behaving in a completely idiotic and inappropriate way no matter what you say." Or it can mean, "Well, you are right, but not in a million years would I admit that you are right because then I'd lose face with my friends, so I'll just say this really obnoxious word, so that I can retain my cool status and make others my age think I got the best of you even though I know you are right, but once again, I would rather die than admit that to you or anyone else." Whatever is a kid's way of telling an adult to "shut the hell up," and it is not acceptable to me. Also, it shows that the kid doesn't care to truly learn anything new -- he'd rather just go along happy in his own ignorance, and that is never good for getting an education. If all you want is for others to justify what little you already know, then why are you in school? What is the point? Whatever is snotty sassiness and ignorance all rolled into one extremely annoying word.
It's good enough. Whenever I hear that from a kid, I immediately ask, "For whom?" Certainly not for me because he is usually telling me this in response to me pointing out an error in a sentence or how his paper is really sloppy or something else that is easily fixable with a little effort, but therein lies the problem -- too many teenagers these days don't want to do the work to make something truly good or even exceptional. They'll happily settle for "good enough" to just get it done. Now, I'm not saying that this is just a teenage problem because that would be an understatement by far. I'm even guilty on occasion of both feeling and saying this sentiment, but usually when I do hear myself say this, I give myself a mental or even physical head-slap and remind myself that GOOD ENOUGH IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. "Good enough" implies that it can be better, and if it can be better, then it should be better, and you should take the time and put in the effort to make it better. This will not only help you, the student, to earn a better grade on the assignment, but it will also help you improve your work ethic which will, in time, help you earn more money and gain more promotions over your lifetime. You'll be known as an achiever and a person who doesn't settle for second best. So, when my students scoffingly say to me, "It's good enough," I tell them that the D or even F that they are going to receive on their assignment then is a "good enough" grade. In that light, they often rethink their attitude; unfortunately, just as often they simply shrug and walk off after saying "Whatever."
My final complaint concerns the ever-popular phrase of I don't care. Here is my take on that -- when you say that, this is what I hear: "I don't care about myself." Period. Simple. Sad. Pathetic. Pitiable. I have to ask, "Why don't you care? Why don't you care about yourself and your future? Why don't you care about others? Why don't you care about the school, the community where you live, the state where you reside, the country that has provided you with the right to not give a damn? Why? Why don't you care? Why is it so damn hard to give a damn?" Seriously, think about it the next time you casually announce that you don't care because plain and simple, if you don't care enough to care, then why the hell should I care about you? Why should I waste my time and energy and vast amount of knowledge about the subject I teach upon somebody who does NOT care when there is a wealth of knowledge-hungry kids living in impoverished conditions all over the world who would love for me to come teach them? Maybe you'd care if you went hungry every night. Maybe you'd care if you were homeless. Maybe you'd care if you lived under a regime that kept you downtrodden and miserable. Maybe you'd care if you had parents who gave a damn and instilled that within you like they should have. Maybe you'd care if you hadn't been brought up with a false sense of entitlement that you haven't even come close to earning. Maybe you'd care if you lost everything in a fire or a flood or a hurricane or a tornado or any other horrible catastrophe that can befall you at any given moment. Maybe you'd care if you stopped for one minute and really looked at the world and your place in it and realized just how much you need an education to get you ANYWHERE in this world. Maybe. But who am I to know this? I'm just a teacher. What the hell do I know?
So, again to my doubting students who think that because I complain about them and about my job that this means that I hate teaching or that I hate them, I say that nothing could be further from the truth. My problem is that WHATEVER will never be Good enough for me, and I simply DO CARE too damn much for my own good.
If I could convince all students out there of one thing, it would be to "Schtick this!" when it comes to their negative attitudes that only serve to interfere with the wonderful educations they could give themselves. CARE. ACCEPT ONLY THE BEST OF YOURSELF. SAY "YES, MA'AM" OR "YES, SIR" INSTEAD OF "WHATEVER."
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Pet Peeves
In my freshman speech class each semester I make the kids give a short speech about one of their pet peeves. I tell them that it needs to be something grander than people drumming fingers on a desk or rapidly clicking a ballpoint pen, and I also tell them that it can't be a person. I want it to be something that truly gets their blood boiling a bit, so that when they deliver the speech, the audience can see their conviction.
Since these are freshmen I'm dealing with here, this assignment immediately elicits its fair share of groans and whines and complaints from the kids, which leads me to point out that they are demonstrating one of my biggest pet peeves -- people who complain before even trying something new.
Many of them will tell me that they don't have a pet peeve, which is usually stated in an attempt to get out of doing the assignment, but after I give them lots of examples from my own lengthy list (I'm easily annoyed -- I admit it -- and students putting forth more effort in their attempts to avoid doing work than they would if they'd just do the assignment is another of my school-related pet peeves), they all manage to settle on something that irks them at least a little bit.
They are usually flabbergasted at one of my top pet peeves, and it inevitably leads them to want to argue with me about it; however, arguing with the person about what bothers him or her is not allowed. The audience is simply supposed to listen and try to see the speaker's side of things, and as a teacher, I always hope that the kids will come away from this project with new insight into others and understand that everyone is entitled to her own opinion even if others don't agree with it -- but these are freshmen, so that is a bit of a stretch (yet I remain optimistic even while knowing it is foolish optimism).
The one my kids have the hardest time accepting about me is that I am NOT a Husker fan nor do I care one iota about sports in any shape or form. I tell them that my particular pet peeve is that it annoys me when others ASSUME that I am a Husker fan simply because I am a Nebraskan born and raised. I even attended UNL where the Huskers are based, but I did not go there to attend football games; no, I went there to get that important thing called an education, and, frankly, nothing pisses me off more than to be out shopping deliberately on a Husker game day Saturday when the stores aren't crowded (another pet peeve of mine is crowds in stores -- told you I have many) and then to have every single person I encounter in the mall ask me what the score is. I DON'T KNOW! If I gave a crap about the game I'd be home watching it or I'd be at the stadium in Lincoln (after paying enough money to feed my family for a month or more for the tickets) watching it live. I wouldn't be in a mall attempting to buy shoes undisturbed if I actually cared about the game.
Once I share my little tirade with my students, they first all stare at me mouths agape and then they all burst forth with noises of shock and dismay and outrage. How can it be that their teacher, a Nebraskan just like them, doesn't care about the Huskers? How can it be that anybody could dare to have her own interests that vary from those of almost every other Nebraskan? Shocking as it may be to them, there are LOTS of Nebraskans who do not care about the Husker football team or the volleyball team or any other Husker sports team. It's just that most of the others don't speak up for fear that the Husker nation will come after them with pitchforks and over-sized corn hats they'll use to beat them senseless with.
Sorry. I believe a university's main job (just like any school's main job) is to educate its students. The sports' craze annoys the hell out of me because it puts too much importance on the teams and winning and not enough importance on the students and on learning. This has always annoyed me, but I'll admit that the longer I teach, the more it gets under my skin.
That is true of my second pet peeve that I share with my students but which is my biggest pet peeve of all. I absolutely cannot stand it when people BRAG that they don't read. I've already devoted an earlier post to this very topic, but a few things bear repeating. When you brag that you do not read, you are basically announcing with pride that you are an imbecile. People who are illiterate are either unfortunately born unable to learn and deserve our pity, or they are oppressed people who live in horrible conditions where their governments deliberately keep them ignorant to control them and those people also deserve our pity. However, if you CHOOSE to be quasi-illiterate, then you are simply stupid, and you deserve whatever bad things happen to you because of your choice to be that way -- whether it is that you never rise above minimum wage or you never get a promotion but instead have to watch others pass you by or you don't get the girl of your dreams because you have no idea who Virginia Woolf is or any other of the myriad of things that could befall a non-reader.
I can understand not having time to read. I can understand struggling with reading, so it is just something that you don't do much because it is hard for you. I can understand putting off all the pleasure reading you might like to do because there are too many great movies or television programs to entertain you instead. I can understand all the excuses as to why people do not read more; however, I cannot understand the need to brag about not being a reader. Like I said, instead of going on and on about how much reading sucks and that you don't do it at all, you might as well go on and on about how dumb you are and how proud you are of your own stupidity.
I think that the more educated a person is the more easily he is annoyed by the actions of others. It takes almost no effort at all to walk a shopping cart over to any of the gazillion cart stalls crowding department store parking lots; yet how often do we still find shopping carts all over the lots? I have had a lot of education in my lifetime, and all that learning took a lot of work on my part, and I can't wrap my head around just how lazy a person has to be to somehow manage to push a laden cart all the way to her car yet not be able to get it either returned to the store or placed snugly between the rails with all the other carts.
This same line of thinking goes for putting anything away. If you use it, put it away. It's a simple concept. If you borrow it, return it; if you dirty it, wash it; if you break it, either repair it or replace it. The rudeness and laziness of others continues to confound me.
I could go on and on about my pet peeves. Most of them are very minor, but when you get down to it, they almost all revolve around rudeness and insensitivity. Here are a few more:
** People cutting in line.
** Students taking something from my desk without asking.
** People ignoring posted signs like "don't feed the bears" or "dogs must be leashed" or "no fishing from bridge, " etc.
** When people learn I teach Spanish and the first thing they say to me is "Why don't those Mexicans learn our language?" (this one will probably be a future post as it really gets my blood boiling to have this be the first thing said to me)
** People who misuse English and don't even care how they sound, especially when they are one of the same people mentioned in the pet peeve above this one.
** People who litter. Can't stand it. Seriously want to cause bodily damage to the person when I see this happen.
** People who criticize other cultures and types of people they've never even experienced or met.
** People who shove their religious or political views down your throat. Do they really think that is going to make others see things their way?
** People who care only about improving their exteriors and nothing about improving their inner-selves.
** Hypocrites.
** Repeat-offenders.
** Deadbeat Dads or Moms.
** Selfishness.
** Animal cruelty.
** Religious intolerance.
** Sexist prigs.
** Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera. (and, NO, I didn't misspell that, so please don't attempt to further annoy me by attempting to point out my mistakes)
Like I said, I have many things that annoy me. I try to be optimistic, but I'm not naturally that way, so sometimes it takes a lot of effort on my part to see the good in things. Fortunately, I have many wonderful students, fantastic children, great friends, fabulous parents and many other phenomenal people in my life that show me every day that the world, while full of faults, is still a great place to be. I am just a picky person, but that has also led me to pick the best people in the world to surround myself with, so I am glad I'm picky.
Since these are freshmen I'm dealing with here, this assignment immediately elicits its fair share of groans and whines and complaints from the kids, which leads me to point out that they are demonstrating one of my biggest pet peeves -- people who complain before even trying something new.
Many of them will tell me that they don't have a pet peeve, which is usually stated in an attempt to get out of doing the assignment, but after I give them lots of examples from my own lengthy list (I'm easily annoyed -- I admit it -- and students putting forth more effort in their attempts to avoid doing work than they would if they'd just do the assignment is another of my school-related pet peeves), they all manage to settle on something that irks them at least a little bit.
They are usually flabbergasted at one of my top pet peeves, and it inevitably leads them to want to argue with me about it; however, arguing with the person about what bothers him or her is not allowed. The audience is simply supposed to listen and try to see the speaker's side of things, and as a teacher, I always hope that the kids will come away from this project with new insight into others and understand that everyone is entitled to her own opinion even if others don't agree with it -- but these are freshmen, so that is a bit of a stretch (yet I remain optimistic even while knowing it is foolish optimism).
The one my kids have the hardest time accepting about me is that I am NOT a Husker fan nor do I care one iota about sports in any shape or form. I tell them that my particular pet peeve is that it annoys me when others ASSUME that I am a Husker fan simply because I am a Nebraskan born and raised. I even attended UNL where the Huskers are based, but I did not go there to attend football games; no, I went there to get that important thing called an education, and, frankly, nothing pisses me off more than to be out shopping deliberately on a Husker game day Saturday when the stores aren't crowded (another pet peeve of mine is crowds in stores -- told you I have many) and then to have every single person I encounter in the mall ask me what the score is. I DON'T KNOW! If I gave a crap about the game I'd be home watching it or I'd be at the stadium in Lincoln (after paying enough money to feed my family for a month or more for the tickets) watching it live. I wouldn't be in a mall attempting to buy shoes undisturbed if I actually cared about the game.
Once I share my little tirade with my students, they first all stare at me mouths agape and then they all burst forth with noises of shock and dismay and outrage. How can it be that their teacher, a Nebraskan just like them, doesn't care about the Huskers? How can it be that anybody could dare to have her own interests that vary from those of almost every other Nebraskan? Shocking as it may be to them, there are LOTS of Nebraskans who do not care about the Husker football team or the volleyball team or any other Husker sports team. It's just that most of the others don't speak up for fear that the Husker nation will come after them with pitchforks and over-sized corn hats they'll use to beat them senseless with.
Sorry. I believe a university's main job (just like any school's main job) is to educate its students. The sports' craze annoys the hell out of me because it puts too much importance on the teams and winning and not enough importance on the students and on learning. This has always annoyed me, but I'll admit that the longer I teach, the more it gets under my skin.
That is true of my second pet peeve that I share with my students but which is my biggest pet peeve of all. I absolutely cannot stand it when people BRAG that they don't read. I've already devoted an earlier post to this very topic, but a few things bear repeating. When you brag that you do not read, you are basically announcing with pride that you are an imbecile. People who are illiterate are either unfortunately born unable to learn and deserve our pity, or they are oppressed people who live in horrible conditions where their governments deliberately keep them ignorant to control them and those people also deserve our pity. However, if you CHOOSE to be quasi-illiterate, then you are simply stupid, and you deserve whatever bad things happen to you because of your choice to be that way -- whether it is that you never rise above minimum wage or you never get a promotion but instead have to watch others pass you by or you don't get the girl of your dreams because you have no idea who Virginia Woolf is or any other of the myriad of things that could befall a non-reader.
I can understand not having time to read. I can understand struggling with reading, so it is just something that you don't do much because it is hard for you. I can understand putting off all the pleasure reading you might like to do because there are too many great movies or television programs to entertain you instead. I can understand all the excuses as to why people do not read more; however, I cannot understand the need to brag about not being a reader. Like I said, instead of going on and on about how much reading sucks and that you don't do it at all, you might as well go on and on about how dumb you are and how proud you are of your own stupidity.
I think that the more educated a person is the more easily he is annoyed by the actions of others. It takes almost no effort at all to walk a shopping cart over to any of the gazillion cart stalls crowding department store parking lots; yet how often do we still find shopping carts all over the lots? I have had a lot of education in my lifetime, and all that learning took a lot of work on my part, and I can't wrap my head around just how lazy a person has to be to somehow manage to push a laden cart all the way to her car yet not be able to get it either returned to the store or placed snugly between the rails with all the other carts.
This same line of thinking goes for putting anything away. If you use it, put it away. It's a simple concept. If you borrow it, return it; if you dirty it, wash it; if you break it, either repair it or replace it. The rudeness and laziness of others continues to confound me.
I could go on and on about my pet peeves. Most of them are very minor, but when you get down to it, they almost all revolve around rudeness and insensitivity. Here are a few more:
** People cutting in line.
** Students taking something from my desk without asking.
** People ignoring posted signs like "don't feed the bears" or "dogs must be leashed" or "no fishing from bridge, " etc.
** When people learn I teach Spanish and the first thing they say to me is "Why don't those Mexicans learn our language?" (this one will probably be a future post as it really gets my blood boiling to have this be the first thing said to me)
** People who misuse English and don't even care how they sound, especially when they are one of the same people mentioned in the pet peeve above this one.
** People who litter. Can't stand it. Seriously want to cause bodily damage to the person when I see this happen.
** People who criticize other cultures and types of people they've never even experienced or met.
** People who shove their religious or political views down your throat. Do they really think that is going to make others see things their way?
** People who care only about improving their exteriors and nothing about improving their inner-selves.
** Hypocrites.
** Repeat-offenders.
** Deadbeat Dads or Moms.
** Selfishness.
** Animal cruelty.
** Religious intolerance.
** Sexist prigs.
** Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera. (and, NO, I didn't misspell that, so please don't attempt to further annoy me by attempting to point out my mistakes)
Like I said, I have many things that annoy me. I try to be optimistic, but I'm not naturally that way, so sometimes it takes a lot of effort on my part to see the good in things. Fortunately, I have many wonderful students, fantastic children, great friends, fabulous parents and many other phenomenal people in my life that show me every day that the world, while full of faults, is still a great place to be. I am just a picky person, but that has also led me to pick the best people in the world to surround myself with, so I am glad I'm picky.
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