(If you'd like to view/hear this, it is available on my YouTube channel. https://youtu.be/UYfoVWUARrM )
As Johnny Paycheck so, uh, eloquently sang when he created the anthem of all disgruntled workers, sometimes there comes a point when you simply must say, "Take this job and shove it," and move on with your life and the pursuit of your own dreams.
I once loved teaching. I really did, and I know I would enjoy teaching adults in small spurts if the opportunity would present itself, but I'm done teaching full-time. I poured my heart and soul into for the first 15 to 20 years, but, eventually, it sucked all the joy from my heart and soul. When I look at the mass exodus of young teachers leaving their careers going on right now in the U.S., I don't feel so bad about leaving a career that I'd given 30 years of my life to. Like those teachers, I left the field because of so many things I see that are wrong with it, but I mostly left teaching because my heart wasn't in it. I just wanted to be a writer and to be able to do that every single day, all day long. After teaching for 30 years, I think I was due.
A few years ago, I and all the other teachers in my school attended a conference in a nearby town put on by the educational service unit. I'd been to countless similar conferences over the years, but this one has stayed with me because of the man who delivered the opening address to us. It was supposed to be a motivational speech, but I think it accomplished the complete opposite, at least with me.
He was pontificating about the importance of teaching -- to an auditorium of teachers! We already knew the importance of our jobs. He was spouting off about the importance of the children in our charge and the impact we had on them -- again, things we were all well aware of.
Then, he began to harp at us that if we didn't completely and unequivocally LOVE our jobs with every fiber of our beings that we should QUIT. He said it over and over again. "If you don't love your job, then quit! If you don't love your job, then quit!" I don't exaggerate in the least to say that he was yelling at us -- thus my usage of those exclamation points.
I know that his words had special impact with me because I did want to quit. I was tired of teaching and already looking ahead and forward to an early retirement, but I wasn't there yet. I'd come to the conference actually hoping to be inspired a little bit, to have a bit of fire lit back in me. Instead, I was being yelled at by a guy telling me to quit my job since I, clearly, was one of the people there who didn't love it with every fiber of my being.
I sat there thinking -- if every single person here who doesn't love her job with her whole heart were to stand up and walk out and quit right now, there would only be a handful of teachers left sitting here.
Maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe I was the only teacher out of the thousand in that room who didn't love teaching with my whole entire heart, but I doubt it.
I understand the point he was trying to make, but I think he could have made it in a more encouraging fashion.
I taught for a few more years, and then I retired from it last May after 30 full years of teaching. I've never been happier because I'm now writing every single day just as I'd always wanted to do. I'm not making very much money at it, but my children are grown and my financial needs aren't so staggering anymore.
The financial need is what kept me from standing up and walking out of that auditorium while that obnoxious man yelled at us. At that point in my life, I still NEEDED the financial stability of my teaching career.
I couldn't afford to quit. At least, that's what I thought.
If I could back in time, though, I would tell myself to get up, walk out, and quit. Then, I believed that I could continue to find joy in teaching like I had for so many years in the past, but I was wrong. The last four or five years of teaching were miserable for me. Sure, there were great days in there, and I loved most of my students, but my heart wasn't in it -- at all. I was very sad.
I was sad because I had a dream, and it didn't involve teaching. It involved writing.
So, the truth is that I really couldn't afford to stay, but I did.
If I could do it over, I would, and I would have left teaching earlier, just as I would have divorced my ex earlier. Not leaving unhappy situations sooner -- that is my biggest regret.
So, I write this to encourage others who may be staying with something that makes them unhappy simply out of fear -- of failure, of the unknown, of financial instability, etc.
I'm not going to rail at you to quit your job because that may not be the answer, and quitting has a very negative connotation to it. I think that's also why his comments didn't sit well with me. I say that I quit teaching, but really I left it to pursue another venture. I don't see myself as a quitter, and if you move on to something that really matters to you, then you are not a quitter either.
That fear of the giant void before us is something that paralyzes so many of us who want to strike out and go after our dreams. But, I say -- Do It. Go for it.
Give it a year, at the very least, and commit to doing something in pursuit of it every single day. Think about it. In one year, you will have achieved a minimum of 365 things for your dream.
I figure that in one year, you'll be in one of five possible positions.
1. You will have utterly failed, but you will have at least tried, so when you are old and on your deathbed, it will not be that agonizing regret that you hear of so often about people who had dreams but never ever tried to go after them. You will have won simply for trying -- even if it didn't work out. But I think even if you think you've failed, you probably just need to find a new way to approach it and give it another go.
2. You will be making progress, and you will have arrived at a place where you can decide whether or not to continue pursuing your dream. Things change, and in your pursuit of your dream, it may have changed, so at this point you will be in a position to actively make a decision to change your course or continue onward. You will have learned enough to know whether you can go the distance, and you will know whether you want to or not. You may have decided by now that this dream isn't for you -- not now, or maybe not ever, but you'll make that decision after trying for a year. Again, you will have at least tried even if you decide to change course or abandon your dream for something else that you now find meaningful. You won't regret changing your mind, if that's what you do, because you will know you gave it your best shot and found that it wasn't for you after all.
3. You will know you made the right decision, but you will not be in a financially stable place yet. However, you will know that this is something you are willing to go the distance on no matter how long it takes you. Since you are now committed fully to accomplishing your dream but you aren't able yet to support yourself from it, you will need either a second part-time job that brings in enough money to pay your basic living bills and/or you will need a supportive partner who is willing to take on the bulk of the bills until such a time as you are able to pay your share. A third option is that you may have waited a long time, like I did, to actively pursue your dreams, so you might have a pension or even social security benefits you can rely on to cover the most pressing bills while you continue to go after your goals. Whatever you have to do, don't let financial concerns prevent you from continuing to work your dreams. You now know you've made the right decision, so find a way to get by financially until your dream starts paying the way for you.
4. You may have had enough success that you are already paying your way from your new business/dream venture. Just think of that. Start now, and in one year, or maybe even less time, you could be supporting yourself off the thing that you are passionate about. Then, it's no longer work at all -- it's simply fun. You'll also have gained so much experience and learned what works and what doesn't, so from this point forward, the sky's the limit.
5. You may have risen so far by now that you are a total financial success and a star in your field. You will be in such awe of how far you've come in one year that you'll be shaking your head in disgust that you didn't start earlier.
Here's the thing: you won't be in any of those five positions unless you start. Right now. Today. Make a list of goals. Write down your dream. Come up with a plan that starts small and ends big. Go for it. Seriously, go for it.
I'm currently in the #3 spot, and I suspect I'll be there for a while, and I'm okay with that. I know that I must simply keep working on my writing and keep putting it out there for others to read and keep trying to find ways to reach the right audience and/or agent. Someday, I'll make the right connection or decision that will propel me into the #4 spot. If I never get there, I'm still going to be okay with it because I'll have my pension in another year and a half which will pay all the necessary bills for the rest of my life. Until then, I have a supportive partner who believes in me and my writing dream as much as I do.
While I should have quit, or left, teaching long before I did to go after my dream, I treasure the co-workers I taught with and so many of the students who passed through my room over all those years. I do miss them, but I hope the final lesson I left them with has more impact on them than any Spanish or English lesson I attempted to impart -- It's never too late to go after your dream and don't give up on it or on yourself.
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