I Hate Trashy People!

I spend my days with teenagers, and most of the time they are a self-centered obnoxious bunch, but every now and then, they remind me why I continue to expend my time and energy on them -- they are also full of energy, surprises and actually quite generous of their time and the need to work to make a difference in our world.

As part of my job, I am the adviser for our local National Honor Society chapter. Yesterday, four of my NHS students and I spent two hours removing trash from the ditches of a road that leads into our town and where I often walk my dog. For some time now, I've been utterly appalled at the amount of trash littering the ditches and ruining what should be a lovely walk in the countryside. Since NHS students have to do community service work as part of their commitment to organization, I suggested that a few of them remove this trash in honor of Earth Day. They willingly complied, and they willingly gave up a few hours of their Saturday afternoons to walk the ditches with me on a chilly and windy April day.

While I knew that the ditches along this two mile stretch of road were laden with trash, I was still astounded at the end of our clean-up to find that we had acquired almost two full pickup beds' worth of trash! Along the way we removed numerous beer bottles and cans and discarded plastic gas station soda cups, as to be expected I suppose; however, surprisingly we also found a phone charger, a used diaper, a metal fork, a tire, a running board, various pieces of siding, and even an entire vacuum cleaner!

What the hell is wrong with people?  When has our collective laziness reached the bounds where we can't even place our empty cans in our cup holders in our cars and then throw it away when we get home? Personally, I don't understand this, and I never will. We are a society of consumers, and we have a trash system designed to manage the gross amount of stuff we throw out as it is without there being any need to toss crap out the window as we drive.

"Trashy" people disgust me -- and by that word I mean the ones who throw their shit along the roadways for everybody else to "enjoy" as we drive along or stroll along a road. I don't know what goes through their minds as they casually throw their bags of fast food containers out the window while cruising along at 65 miles per hours. What do they think happens with that stuff? It sits there and ruins the area for others -- both human and animal -- until considerate people come along and pick it up

Trash receptacles exist all over this world and for a reason, so use them. Keep a trash bag in your car if you don't like having trash sitting around in your car until such a time when you can clean it out. If nothing else, realize that other people use that road and want to enjoy the view of nature and not of your crappy trash, and realize that animals survive out there and can survive longer and better without your crap ruining their habitats.

Sadly, only one day later I took a walk with my dog along the road I'd helped clean up yesterday and already there are two new pieces of trash lying around. Trashy people need to stick their own crap into their own trash cans! That's where I'd like to see them actually stick it; otherwise, they can truly "Shtick This!"

Winter, Shtick This!

Dear Winter,

Go away! If that isn't clear enough, then let me add these -- Scram! Skedaddle! Shoo! Amscray! Leave! And get your white filth off of my lawn!

While you might be a welcome sight at Christmastime and even in mid-November when you haven't been around for awhile, here, in mid-April, you are no longer wanted. So, stop playing the bully and quit pushing Spring around. It's her time to shine.

I want to feel her lovely breath upon my cheeks as I walk my dog. I don't want your frigid gusts keeping me indoors any longer. I want to hear the birds chirping again like they were only days ago before you felt the need to rush back in for an encore -- nobody's clapping, Buster, so get off the stage.

The flowers are waiting to burst up from the ground, but they can't do that with an inch of solid ice preventing their progress. The leaves are about to spring forth from their branches, but you just might have killed some of them off in their infancy -- I hope you're happy, you homicidal maniac!

Seriously dude, nobody wants you here anymore. You've had your say for over six months, so if you haven't made your point by now, you're never going to -- so shut up! You can blow as hard as you want around my window frames and you can whistle through my gutters, I'm done listening to you. Blah, blah, blah is all I hear from you. Pack up your stuff and get off my property.

There are many people over the course of a day or a week or a month that I want to say "Shtick This!" to, but right now, Winter, you are numero uno on my shit list. Go away and don't let a tornado kick you in the ass as you go -- this is the Midwest after all.

You're like a spoiled little drama queen who has to have all the attention and just needs to step in and take all the fun away from anybody else who seems to be getting the love from others. Well, here's the hard truth from one Winter-hater -- Summer is the true queen while Spring and Autumn are the lovely princesses, and you're just the ugly step-sister. So, get over yourself and get out of my life!

Sincerely,

Your biggest hater.

A Teacher's Tirade

If you haven't noticed by not only the name of my blog but also by the content of many of my posts, I like to bitch and moan about things that I really cannot control -- things that get under my skin because they are ridiculous, asinine, ludicrous or simply annoying to me for whatever reason big or small. Students annoy me, I admit it, and the older I get, the more they annoy me -- it's an age gap thing I understand that, but there is more to it than that.

I realized the other day that my complaints to my students sometimes are misconstrued. One young man said to me, "If you hate teaching so much, why do you do it?" To be honest, I was quite annoyed at his question because I don't hate teaching, and that is when I realized that to teenagers who don't see the bigger picture it may very well come across as me sounding like I don't like teaching and that I don't like my students -- and both of those things are not true.

I found myself launching into a tirade to clarify the situation for him, and I realized that this blog would perhaps be a better place to make it clear what it is that actually annoys the hell out of me about teaching teenagers. Again, to be very clear -- I LOVE teaching when the students actually want to learn what I have the knowledge and expertise to share with them, and I LOVE my students even on the days that I want to walk away and never look back. Each kid is unique and special, and I believe, I firmly believe, that they all want to learn, but they too often let their attitudes interfere with their learning and definitely with my teaching.

It isn't teaching or the kids, per se, that drive me crazy -- it these three statements that I simply cannot tolerate anymore: 1. "Whatever!"   2. "It's good enough."   and   3. "I don't care."

Let's examine that damnable word Whatever usually said with unnecessary emphasis on the second syllable and a noticeable touch of sass thrown in for good measure. Basically, it is a kid's way of saying "Shut up, old woman. I don't need to listen to you. I'm young, and I know everything, so you can just keep talking and lecturing and moralizing, but I'm going to go right on behaving in a completely idiotic and inappropriate way no matter what you say." Or it can mean, "Well, you are right, but not in a million years would I admit that you are right because then I'd lose face with my friends, so I'll just say this really obnoxious word, so that I can retain my cool status and make others my age think I got the best of you even though I know you are right, but once again, I would rather die than admit that to you or anyone else." Whatever is a kid's way of telling an adult to "shut the hell up," and it is not acceptable to me. Also, it shows that the kid doesn't care to truly learn anything new -- he'd rather just go along happy in his own ignorance, and that is never good for getting an education. If all you want is for others to justify what little you already know, then why are you in school? What is the point? Whatever is snotty sassiness and ignorance all rolled into one extremely annoying word.

It's good enough. Whenever I hear that from a kid, I immediately ask, "For whom?" Certainly not for me because he is usually telling me this in response to me pointing out an error in a sentence or how his paper is really sloppy or something else that is easily fixable with a little effort, but therein lies the problem -- too many teenagers these days don't want to do the work to make something truly good or even exceptional. They'll happily settle for "good enough" to just get it done. Now, I'm not saying that this is just a teenage problem because that would be an understatement by far. I'm even guilty on occasion of both feeling and saying this sentiment, but usually when I do hear myself say this, I give myself a mental or even physical head-slap and remind myself that GOOD ENOUGH IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. "Good enough" implies that it can be better, and if it can be better, then it should be better, and you should take the time and put in the effort to make it better. This will not only help you, the student, to earn a better grade on the assignment, but it will also help you improve your work ethic which will, in time, help you earn more money and gain more promotions over your lifetime. You'll be known as an achiever and a person who doesn't settle for second best. So, when my students scoffingly say to me, "It's good enough," I tell them that the D or even F that they are going to receive on their assignment then is a "good enough" grade. In that light, they often rethink their attitude; unfortunately, just as often they simply shrug and walk off after saying "Whatever."

My final complaint concerns the ever-popular phrase of I don't care. Here is my take on that -- when you say that, this is what I hear: "I don't care about myself." Period. Simple. Sad. Pathetic. Pitiable. I have to ask, "Why don't you care? Why don't you care about yourself and your future? Why don't you care about others? Why don't you care about the school, the community where you live, the state where you reside, the country that has provided you with the right to not give a damn? Why? Why don't you care? Why is it so damn hard to give a damn?" Seriously, think about it the next time you casually announce that you don't care because plain and simple, if you don't care enough to care, then why the hell should I care about you? Why should I waste my time and energy and vast amount of knowledge about the subject I teach upon somebody who does NOT care when there is a wealth of knowledge-hungry kids living in impoverished conditions all over the world who would love for me to come teach them? Maybe you'd care if you went hungry every night. Maybe you'd care if you were homeless. Maybe you'd care if you lived under a regime that kept you downtrodden and miserable. Maybe you'd care if you had parents who gave a damn and instilled that within you like they should have. Maybe you'd care if you hadn't been brought up with a false sense of entitlement that you haven't even come close to earning. Maybe you'd care if you lost everything in a fire or a flood or a hurricane or a tornado or any other horrible catastrophe that can befall you at any given moment. Maybe you'd care if you stopped for one minute and really looked at the world and your place in it and realized just how much you need an education to get you ANYWHERE in this world. Maybe. But who am I to know this? I'm just a teacher. What the hell do I know?

So, again to my doubting students who think that because I complain about them and about my job that this means that I hate teaching or that I hate them, I say that nothing could be further from the truth. My problem is that WHATEVER will never be Good enough for me, and I simply DO CARE too damn much for my own good.

If I could convince all students out there of one thing, it would be to "Schtick this!" when it comes to their negative attitudes that only serve to interfere with the wonderful educations they could give themselves. CARE.      ACCEPT ONLY THE BEST OF YOURSELF.     SAY "YES, MA'AM" OR "YES, SIR" INSTEAD OF "WHATEVER."

Pet Peeves

In my freshman speech class each semester I make the kids give a short speech about one of their pet peeves. I tell them that it needs to be something grander than people drumming fingers on a desk or rapidly clicking a ballpoint pen, and I also tell them that it can't be a person. I want it to be something that truly gets their blood boiling a bit, so that when they deliver the speech, the audience can see their conviction.

Since these are freshmen I'm dealing with here, this assignment immediately elicits its fair share of groans and whines and complaints from the kids, which leads me to point out that they are demonstrating one of my biggest pet peeves -- people who complain before even trying something new.

Many of them will tell me that they don't have a pet peeve, which is usually stated in an attempt to get out of doing the assignment, but after I give them lots of examples from my own lengthy list (I'm easily annoyed -- I admit it -- and students putting forth more effort in their attempts to avoid doing work than they would if they'd just do the assignment is another of my school-related pet peeves), they all manage to settle on something that irks them at least a little bit.

They are usually flabbergasted at one of my top pet peeves, and it inevitably leads them to want to argue with me about it; however, arguing with the person about what bothers him or her is not allowed. The audience is simply supposed to listen and try to see the speaker's side of things, and as a teacher, I always hope that the kids will come away from this project with new insight into others and understand that everyone is entitled to her own opinion even if others don't agree with it -- but these are freshmen, so that is a bit of a stretch (yet I remain optimistic even while knowing it is foolish optimism).

The one my kids have the hardest time accepting about me is that I am NOT a Husker fan nor do I care one iota about sports in any shape or form. I tell them that my particular pet peeve is that it annoys me when others ASSUME that I am a Husker fan simply because I am a Nebraskan born and raised. I even attended UNL where the Huskers are based, but I did not go there to attend football games; no, I went there to get that important thing called an education, and, frankly, nothing pisses me off more than to be out shopping deliberately on a Husker game day Saturday when the stores aren't crowded (another pet peeve of mine is crowds in stores -- told you I have many) and then to have every single person I encounter in the mall ask me what the score is. I DON'T KNOW! If I gave a crap about the game I'd be home watching it or I'd be at the stadium in Lincoln (after paying enough money to feed my family for a month or more for the tickets) watching it live. I wouldn't be in a mall attempting to buy shoes undisturbed if I actually cared about the game.

Once I share my little tirade with my students, they first all stare at me mouths agape and then they all burst forth with noises of shock and dismay and outrage. How can it be that their teacher, a Nebraskan just like them, doesn't care about the Huskers? How can it be that anybody could dare to have her own interests that vary from those of almost every other Nebraskan? Shocking as it may be to them, there are LOTS of Nebraskans who do not care about the Husker football team or the volleyball team or any other Husker sports team. It's just that most of the others don't speak up for fear that the Husker nation will come after them with pitchforks and over-sized corn hats they'll use to beat them senseless with.

Sorry. I believe a university's main job (just like any school's main job) is to educate its students. The sports' craze annoys the hell out of me because it puts too much importance on the teams and winning and not enough importance on the students and on learning. This has always annoyed me, but I'll admit that the longer I teach, the more it gets under my skin.

That is true of my second pet peeve that I share with my students but which is my biggest pet peeve of all. I absolutely cannot stand it when people BRAG that they don't read. I've already devoted an earlier post to this very topic, but a few things bear repeating. When you brag that you do not read, you are basically announcing with pride that you are an imbecile. People who are illiterate are either unfortunately born unable to learn and deserve our pity, or they are oppressed people who live in horrible conditions where their governments deliberately keep them ignorant to control them and those people also deserve our pity. However, if you CHOOSE to be quasi-illiterate, then you are simply stupid, and you deserve whatever bad things happen to you because of your choice to be that way -- whether it is that you never rise above minimum wage or you never get a promotion but instead have to watch others pass you by or you don't get the girl of your dreams because you have no idea who Virginia Woolf is or any other of the myriad of things that could befall a non-reader.

I can understand not having time to read. I can understand struggling with reading, so it is just something that you don't do much because it is hard for you. I can understand putting off all the pleasure reading you might like to do because there are too many great movies or television programs to entertain you instead. I can understand all the excuses as to why people do not read more; however, I cannot understand the need to brag about not being a reader. Like I said, instead of going on and on about how much reading sucks and that you don't do it at all, you might as well go on and on about how dumb you are and how proud you are of your own stupidity.

I think that the more educated a person is the more easily he is annoyed by the actions of others. It takes almost no effort at all to walk a shopping cart over to any of the gazillion cart stalls crowding department store parking lots; yet how often do we still find shopping carts all over the lots? I have had a lot of education in my lifetime, and all that learning took a lot of work on my part, and I can't wrap my head around just how lazy a person has to be to somehow manage to push a laden cart all the way to her car yet not be able to get it either returned to the store or placed snugly between the rails with all the other carts.

This same line of thinking goes for putting anything away. If you use it, put it away. It's a simple concept. If you borrow it, return it; if you dirty it, wash it; if you break it, either repair it or replace it. The rudeness and laziness of others continues to confound me.

I could go on and on about my pet peeves. Most of them are very minor, but when you get down to it, they almost all revolve around rudeness and insensitivity. Here are a few more:

** People cutting in line.
** Students taking something from my desk without asking.
** People ignoring posted signs like "don't feed the bears" or "dogs must be leashed" or "no fishing from bridge, " etc.
** When people learn I teach Spanish and the first thing they say to me is "Why don't those Mexicans learn our language?" (this one will probably be a future post as it really gets my blood boiling to have this be the first thing said to me)
** People who misuse English and don't even care how they sound, especially when they are one of the same people mentioned in the pet peeve above this one.
** People who litter. Can't stand it. Seriously want to cause bodily damage to the person when I see this happen.
** People who criticize other cultures and types of people they've never even experienced or met.
** People who shove their religious or political views down your throat. Do they really think that is going to make others see things their way?
** People who care only about improving their exteriors and nothing about improving their inner-selves.
** Hypocrites.
** Repeat-offenders.
** Deadbeat Dads or Moms.
** Selfishness.
** Animal cruelty.
** Religious intolerance.
** Sexist prigs.
** Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera. (and, NO, I didn't misspell that, so please don't attempt to further annoy me by attempting to point out my mistakes)

Like I said, I have many things that annoy me. I try to be optimistic, but I'm not naturally that way, so sometimes it takes a lot of effort on my part to see the good in things. Fortunately, I have many wonderful students, fantastic children, great friends, fabulous parents and many other phenomenal people in my life that show me every day that the world, while full of faults, is still a great place to be. I am just a picky person, but that has also led me to pick the best people in the world to surround myself with, so I am glad I'm picky.

Wynken, Blynken, and NOT

Sleep often eludes me. It does no good to chase him either, as he is very nimble and swift and will only dart off to a corner somewhere and mock me like a naughty child picking on a decrepit old woman.

Those so-called "tricks" that seem to work for others have no effect on me. Counting backwards from 100? Nope. By the time I reach 96, my mind has floated away on some other thought stream and before I know it I'm all wrapped up in a bizarre inner-journey that only takes me further and further away from the Land of Nod I want to visit. Clear my mind? Hah! Impossible. If I could do that, all my sleep problems would be solved, and my days would be a lot more worry-free as well. Start at my feet and feel my muscles relax as I breathe deeply? Not happening. As I concentrate on trying to relax one set of muscles, I feel other groups tensing up in expectation.

The only real almost-surefire technique for me to fall asleep is to read for at least half an hour until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. Then I have to immediately shut off my lamp and pray that I'll be asleep in minutes because if I'm not, then I might as well turn my lamp back on and pick up my book again because if I don't do that, then my mind is going to start playing its cruel, uh, mind games on me with its buddy, Insomnia.

There are times when Insomnia visits so often that I've had to resort to a couple beers before bed to help lull myself to sleep, but that's not something I like to do very often. Insomnia or alcoholism? Not a great choice either way. I've also tried the over-the-counter sleeping pills, but I don't want to be reliant on artificial aids that could lead to other sorts of dependency. It's not advisable for me to report to work in the morning still feeling drugged -- not the best way to deal with teenagers (although I guess it couldn't hurt, either :) )

I've simply come to the unpleasant realization that I am a picky sleeper. I need complete quiet, utter darkness and lots of blankets. I like sleeping with somebody next to me, but I sleep better alone, and when there is a partner, I still need my space. Once I'm actually asleep, I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, but not like I was before I had children. Then, I could sleep through the heaviest thunderstorm; now, a light rain will wake me.

I don't do well in hotels unless I'm really really tired, but even then, if there is a lot of noise filtering through the walls from the hallway or other rooms, then I might as well watch TV all night or read because that beats lying in a foreign bed all night wide awake and tossing and turning. I've learned that if I truly expect to sleep in a hotel, then I have to pay the money and stay at a quality hotel and not any old run-of-the mill motel next to the interstate. Saving money does me no good when I'm too exhausted to drive the next day.

I'm not a napper either. I've never been one. Partly because I don't like wasting my time, and I see naps as time wasters, but mostly because napping usually takes place in the middle of the day -- when it's still light out! I can't fall asleep with light of any sort. I can, however, sleep in on a weekend well past sunrise, but once my mind registers that it is light outside and that the light is creeping into my room through a crack in my curtains, then I might as well get up because my brain will suddenly kick into overdrive, and then there's no going back to slumber-land.

I envy people who can crawl into bed, put their head upon their pillows and immediately be fast asleep. I simply cannot do that. Even when I've read myself into a stupor, turned off my lamp and snuggled under the covers, I will often have to beat my pillow into submission to get it into just the right shape to adequately support my head while also conforming perfectly to my neck. Believe me, if I didn't need sleep to actually stay alive, I'd say the hell with the damn activity completely some nights because it's just not worth the effort it involves sometimes.

Nothing aggravates me more than to be on the very brink of sleep and then either the dog starts barking at something, or my partner decides he wants to snuggle, or a sudden rain starts hammering against the roof, or the neighbor comes home in his loud pickup truck, or a fly invades my room, or any other of a myriad of annoyances suddenly crops up to rob me once again of the sleep I need.

I also can only fall asleep on my side, but I always wake up on my back. I have never been able to sleep on my stomach -- except on a warm tropical beach while sunbathing, which is also the only time I can truly nap (however, then I'm usually embarrassed because I'll wake myself up with my OWN snoring!). However, I cannot fall asleep on my back which makes no sense at all since that is the position I'm in every morning when I awaken.

All this writing about sleep is making me tired, but I know that it will be many hours yet before I actually fall asleep because I'm not in bed yet, I'm not snuggled under a bunch of covers, I'm not wearing my warm pajamas, and I haven't yet read for a half hour or better.

However, since this isn't the most exciting post in the world, maybe you have fallen asleep. If so, at least one of us is enjoying the Land of Nod. As for me, I more often visit the Land of NOT each night, so if you are in Nod, keep an eye out for me, and help me stick around longer than I usually do. My mind and my body would both appreciate a night of good sleep for once.

Dear future divorced self,

I write this to you from the past, which is the present right now, but as soon as I post it and when you later read it, it will most definitely be the past.

I write to you, a free woman, to remind you to not squander that hard won freedom. Breathe it in every single day. Relish it. Embrace it. Heck, fondle it a little even. Just be sure to love it every single minute. The war for it was a long one, but you came out alive -- scathed, most certainly, but alive and kicking nonetheless.

I speak to you from your not-so-distant past to remind you that you once lived here in misery, so if you from time to time find yourself feeling nostalgic for something you think you've lost, then allow me to send out a virtual-world slap to the face from the past you to the future you. Snap out of it, woman! You are better off in every single sense of the word than you were even a few months ago.

You can now focus on your dreams and on turning them into reality. You're going to be a published author, and you're going to be successful at it -- you now have the time to focus on your craft, and you can write more often in this blog that you currently neglect as badly as somebody once neglected you.

You can travel more now. Go swim with those whale sharks, see Macchu Picchu, fly over the Grand Canyon, drive to the Florida Keys, visit Alcatraz (and imagine somebody locked away there), feel the spray from Iguazu Falls, see a glacier before they become extinct, and revisit all those places you loved but never got enough time to appreciate with someone who hated to travel.

Read all those books crowding your shelves and all those you have yet to buy and all those that are yet to be published. Soak in the words of the Masters, and use them to become a better writer yourself. Learn from the greats and appreciate the wisdom packed into those pages.

Love your children every single day, and let them know that they are the most important people in your life, and they always will be. Show them that you are better and stronger for having finally broke away from the negativity holding you back for so many years. Let them know that standing on their own two feet is much more important than leaning on somebody else.

Treat your friends well, especially your best friend, and make many new ones. Have fun! Lots of fun! Make great memories because I'm looking forward to experiencing them someday myself.

Be willing to love again, but be wise about it as well.

Just know, my future divorced self, that I am here for you, and wherever you go, I will follow. I'm trusting you to lead the way and to make me proud. I can't wait to join you in the world of divorcees.

Sincerely and with love,

Tammy

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

My favorite holiday is just around the corner -- Thanksgiving! In the spirit of giving thanks for all my blessings, I'm writing this entry, but I'm adding all the things that I'm not thankful for as well.

Let's begin on a positive note. The top ten things in my life for which I am extremely grateful:
1. My two children. Watching them grow into the fine people they are now has been the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. It's cliche, of course, and I'm like every other proud parent out there when I say this, but my kids are simply the greatest, and I couldn't have asked for better children. My son will make a fine coach and P.E. teacher when he completes his college education, and my daughter will do wonders to save the animals someday, I'm certain of it.

2. My parents. I'm blessed to have them nearby, and I'm lucky that they are still active and healthy enough to take part in their grandchildren's activities. They've always been there for me through the good and the bad, and I can only hope they really know how special they are to me.

3. My friends. I don't let too many people get close to me, so when it comes to true friends, I can pretty much count them on two hands. They know who they are. Each is special and unique -- my high school friend who I don't see or talk to enough but who will always be dear to me, my college friend who is vastly different from me in beliefs but the nicest person I'll ever know, my neighbor who lets me vent over beers in her garage, my co-worker who cheers me up when I'm having a bad day, my ex-boyfriend from many years ago who has become a very dear friend and commiserates with me about the trials of surviving a divorce and moving on with my life, and a few others who are important to me in different ways.

4. My very best friend. Even though she lives in a different country, there is nobody that I can rely on more to understand me and to make me laugh about the silliest things. She is my better half in a way no man could ever be. She is the one person in this world that I can tell absolutely anything to and not worry about being judged or misunderstood. She is the one and only person that I know I can trust with any secret.

5. My pets. I've always loved animals, especially the small, cuddly ones. My dog is a large one, though, but he is very good for me because he gets me out walking regularly, and the exercise is beneficial for both of us. My cat warms my lap on a cold winter day while I'm reading, and he warms my heart with his purr of contentment.

6. My family beyond my children and my parents. My brother is often a pain in the ass, but I love him anyway, and his family is very important to me. I have numerous aunts, uncles and cousins that I adore, and I miss my beloved maternal grandmother every single day. I miss my other grandparents, too, as they are all deceased, but she was my special grandma, and I think most people have a grandparent that they single out and love the most.

7. My books. Reading is my passion. Without books in my life, I would not function well. My house is full of books, I can spend hours upon hours in bookstores and libraries, and I can't imagine a world without books in it. No day is complete for me until I've spent some part of it reading.

8. My job. Even though my students annoy the hell out of me pretty much every single day, I still love them, and I especially love when they actually learn something from me. It's nice to know that I make a difference to others -- even when it's often against their will since they'd rather be just about anywhere other than school.

9. My new love interest. He's made me believe once again that good men do exist, and he surprises me each time we are together with new little gestures of kindness that, until he came along, I never believed would be a part of my life. I hope he'll be a part of it for a long time to come.

10. My sense of humor. When it's actually working, it keeps me and those around me entertained and happy, and it helps keep me sane in an insane world.


On the flip-side of things, though, there are many things for which I am not grateful. If I could change the world, these are the things I'd change -- in no particular order:
1. World hunger. Nobody should have to go to bed wondering where his next meal will come from or if he'll even have a next meal.

2. Incurable diseases. People have enough worries without cancer, AIDS, and other life-stealing diseases interfering and making things worse.

3. Wars. Enough fighting already! Get along, and if you can't, then just leave each other in peace instead of in pieces.

4. Religious battles. Everyone should live and let live. Believe what you want to believe and stop arguing about which belief is the "correct" one.

5. Racism. People are people. That's it. Color does not matter.

6. Sexism. Talk down to me because I'm a woman, and I'm going to pop you in the mouth so hard you'll never be able to talk down to anybody ever again.

7. Abuse. Yeah, that's a bit ironic after what I said in number 6, but I'm talking about a person who systematically harms another whether through his words or through his fist or perhaps with both. That type of  need to control another in such a twisted way is only something to be condemned and wiped off the planet. This would apply to the abuse of animals as well. Be kind, and live by the Golden Rule.

8. Ignorance. Stop spreading crap that isn't even true. Understand the problem before you go off spouting your uninformed and incorrect opinion for all to hear or see. People who brag about their own ignorance are an embarrassment to all humankind, as far as I'm concerned.

9. Intolerance. We should appreciate each other's differences; otherwise, each of us is not unique, and then what's the point in being you? I embrace the unique quality of each person I meet and know, and I don't care in the least if that person is gay/straight, Christian/Muslim, educated/street-smart, male/female, young/old, black/white, English-speaking/Spanish-speaking, etc.

10. Crime. Get a hobby, learn a new trade, read a book, befriend somebody who lacks friends, volunteer in a shelter, pick up trash along the highway, go for a bike ride, learn to swim, take up juggling, become a dog-walker, do ANYTHING besides rob, pillage and plunder. Our world will be a better place for it.

The one thing that I am the most ungrateful for this year, though, is my ex. Once the divorce -- which is now in it's 9th month of needless suffering for me -- is over, I will write about some of the reasons he's now my ex and some of the reasons for which I'm not grateful for him.

Actually, though, in a twisted, ironic sort of way, I guess I am grateful for him -- for leaving!